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As the title may suggest this is my journey, a pathway from chaos to order told through poetry.  It’s an exciting, affecting, and meaningful story.  An interesting read for anyone to enjoy. I also believe it has the power to encourage anyone who is trying to find their place in the world, who may be lost searching for meaning, a story with answers to a better life.

The journey begins with chapter 1 ‘Ill Fated Energy’ written about episodes of mental confusion, mania and breakdowns. ‘Seeing Death’ describes a suicide attempt. For a time, I was what I can only describe myself as a street urchin, living a crazy life. If I wasn’t ‘fucking, thieving or fighting’, as was our saying, I was in prison and going nowhere very quickly as described in ‘Troublesome’ chapter 2.

Chapter 3, ‘Penetrating Words’ I’m trying to understand the opposite sex with lust, heartbreak, and betrayal.

I start to listen to my conscience in Chapter 4 ‘Winds of Change’ as my soul cried out for meaning. I plead with God to enter my life and He pushes me to seek out answers, looking where I least wanted to look, at myself.  From this, I found therapy, one of the toughest battles I’ve been through. However, also the most rewarding. Much of this chapter reflects on my therapeutic process. The poem ‘Thy Will be Done’ is written to my daughter which I wrote after one tough session.  During therapy I felt the chains coming off one by one with each session. ‘Wild Winds’ is written about my therapist Dr. Melany Ball, and where I was as we departed ways.

‘Into the Light’ the 5th and final chapter, where it all starts falling together, and I share the answers to my deepest questions.  I also find true love with a tall blonde, who looked at me twice and inspired me in abundance to write of falling in love and the answers to transformation. Finally, I could not have been able to write this book or face my problems without reading 12 RULES FOR LIFE by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson and A MANS SEARCH FOR MEANING by Dr. Viktor E. Frankl.  I thank God for their wisdom, care, and encouragement.  Thank you and enjoy, K.L. Smith.

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(links provided)

Featured

I’m Free

My reality, I submit onto the spirit
as feelings form into tears
with each tear I taste
I realize again faith is sufficient.

It's difficult to accept matters of this world
flesh will more than condemn
hope slides seeming all to to be lost.

His blood again has cleansed me
spirit lead me where I need to stand
raindrops become my rhythm
this world can keep its merry band.

Through his painful attacks
my arms reached out in praise
I need not a silver cloud
nor even the wings of an angel
to remind me who I serve to know
whom is my Lord.

He was flogged and tortured.
He carried His cross.
His blood shed for me
I’m not imprisoned by guilt
but through his love like the truth
I'm free.

Dead In The Water

My spirit meets my body when I pick up this pen.
Does truth always win or should I go again?

The beat goes on, as I watch the man in the Union Jack sing.
I picture Nietzsche dancing and dream I am a King.

It's once again just me and you. So this poem I'll rhyme for you.

I have visions of long lost lands and all that I could miss.
So soften your heart or they will submerge like the 10 cities of Atlantis.

I know you don't mean it, but it's still manslaughter.
When your pride leaves them all dead in the water.

Alone

Where we went he was never too far behind.
Lurking in the shadows, attacking in the night.

I cannot drink the blood of snakes and survive.
Only you, can search your own soul.

In his pain Cain was rejected, I could never reject you.
Then he killed his own ideal, killing everything.

I want more than just to hold you, flesh of my flesh.

There's a white coast in the distance.
Are you still aboard?
Reject the father of lies, not me.
I can, but I dont want to sail these waves alone.
 




I Wonder

There's a light in your eyes. Your soul, 
in this life has not yet died.
Though how many times, have you pondered it,
and cried?

We are fallen fruit of the same tree.
I hope God forgives as He looks down tonight,
on you and me.

Life it has its battles, this is your war.
I wonder how many, have been here before.
Your lips they did there job as your dark 
skin glistened.
We spoke and we listened.

I smelt your perfume on me, but your kiss I 
did not taste.
Did you find your hide-a-way? your words
you did not waste.
Them and you, I did not forget.
Them and you, I'm glad were met.

Nothing beats reality, I'm now where 
the steal is cold.
Where my soul is ancient, and my thoughts
grow old.





Awareness In The Dark

I think of you still, with just enough sour
to taste the sweet.
In a solo adagio movement the memory of you
is never complete.

I scream your name in silence and hope you
hear me.
From these marshlands let it be.

I remember you as perfect, perfect isn't true.
It would be if I could hold you.

Even in my dreams I don't have you. But in them
I know you are.
You were a butterfly I was the tree, but then
you flew too far.

Your sins will find you out, I would sin to 
find you.
Then pray that it was true.

Suffering isn't just life, it's a holy grail quest.
I heard the whispers blowing in from the west.

I talk to you when it's quiet but peace here does 
not belong.
And the sunlight never last too long.

I'm always waiting for that spark.
Is it you inside? That awareness in the dark.



  

As The Night Sets In

With balloons and union flags lets meet.
We'll sing and dance in the street.

But tonight, let me see and hear you.
One knee still on the floor.
He, like him, are not with us anymore.

My girl, I have not left you behind.
I'm waiting for you to overtake me.
The battle is in yourself. In you, you will find.

My boy it's time to sleep. Do not peep.
There's magic behind your eyes.
Wake me in the morning. Boy, we are the sunrise.

An as the night sets in.
I know with effort, we all will win. 






 

Seville

A miracle splashed from out the blue sea.
Dabbed dry with grattitude, as a melody
played, beautifully.

Seville now 180 minutes away.

Smudge, I now know we can fly.
I didn't have dreams when I was young.

It makes me won't to cry.

Through all the suffering and pain.
It's hard not to think like cain.

Life will throw its inevitable surprises.
But I will kiss you when the sun sets,
and I will kiss you when it rises.

I may even be grateful it was all neo-noir.
Hope began there.
We'd look to the stars, and stare.

Do you remember the gypsy? She proffessed
our love would storm the hill.

Now on its crest, we see Seville 







We Felt The Rain

When darkness faced the deep, we felt the rain.
Your heartache wiped my tears. Introduced through
our pain.

I put my faith in that smile, unsure of what was
to come.
But God watched on. I saw His throne inside the sun.

Their vision blurred with lies. Though not our eyes.
Our eyes will see the many colours of the skies.

Diamonds shine bright, but cannot sit through the night
with tales untold,
And poetry, poetry cannot be written by gold.

It's not supposed to be easy, I know!
With dilligence and love, we are reaping what we sow. 

The feast of St, George

Smith Shine Poetry

Never to recant his faith in the Lord.
Advanced, gifted with the sword.

Soldier of the Christ. Fought courageously
in belief.
compelled evil to hell as angels roared
in raw relief.

Onwards to the realm.
Converging from afar with Godly squall
and brush of helm.

Under his pennon they forge.
Chanting 'Jerusalem'
for the feast of St, George.

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Night Sky

I stare at the night sky.
Beyond the abyss.
Patterns produce beats calling me into action.
Shedding a light into my soul. 
Sparking the reaction.

Good and evil crossing fine lines.
I now graft like I'm dancing.
Embrace responsibility like rhymes.

There's victory in a rock pile.
Smash, smooth and stack them.
Offer them and smile.

An answer I now know.
Develop in our suffering
until it's time to go.