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As the title may suggest this is my journey, a pathway from chaos to order told through poetry.  It’s an exciting, affecting, and meaningful story.  An interesting read for anyone to enjoy. I also believe it has the power to encourage anyone who is trying to find their place in the world, who may be lost searching for meaning, a story with answers to a better life.

The journey begins with chapter 1 ‘Ill Fated Energy’ written about episodes of mental confusion, mania and breakdowns. ‘Seeing Death’ describes a suicide attempt. For a time, I was what I can only describe myself as a street urchin, living a crazy life. If I wasn’t ‘fucking, thieving or fighting’, as was our saying, I was in prison and going nowhere very quickly as described in ‘Troublesome’ chapter 2.

Chapter 3, ‘Penetrating Words’ I’m trying to understand the opposite sex with lust, heartbreak, and betrayal.

I start to listen to my conscience in Chapter 4 ‘Winds of Change’ as my soul cried out for meaning. I plead with God to enter my life and He pushes me to seek out answers, looking where I least wanted to look, at myself.  From this, I found therapy, one of the toughest battles I’ve been through. However, also the most rewarding. Much of this chapter reflects on my therapeutic process. The poem ‘Thy Will be Done’ is written to my daughter which I wrote after one tough session.  During therapy I felt the chains coming off one by one with each session. ‘Wild Winds’ is written about my therapist Dr. Melany Ball, and where I was as we departed ways.

‘Into the Light’ the 5th and final chapter, where it all starts falling together, and I share the answers to my deepest questions.  I also find true love with a tall blonde, who looked at me twice and inspired me in abundance to write of falling in love and the answers to transformation. Finally, I could not have been able to write this book or face my problems without reading 12 RULES FOR LIFE by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson and A MANS SEARCH FOR MEANING by Dr. Viktor E. Frankl.  I thank God for their wisdom, care, and encouragement.  Thank you and enjoy, K.L. Smith.

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I’m Free

My reality, I submit onto the spirit
as feelings form into tears
with each tear I taste
I realize again faith is sufficient.

It's difficult to accept matters of this world
flesh will more than condemn
hope slides seeming all to to be lost.

His blood again has cleansed me
spirit lead me where I need to stand
raindrops become my rhythm
this world can keep its merry band.

Through his painful attacks
my arms reached out in praise
I need not a silver cloud
nor even the wings of an angel
to remind me who I serve to know
whom is my Lord.

He was flogged and tortured.
He carried His cross.
His blood shed for me
I’m not imprisoned by guilt
but through his love like the truth
I'm free.

a broken sky

She walked in with a fractured heart,
and eyes that held the day.
But left beneath a broken sky,
with all her colours grey.

The world grew hard, the air turned cold,
the stars forgot to shine.
Yet far beneath the shattered ground,
there stirred a root of vine.

They crossed a door that should have stayed,
Through hands that failed our trust.
Warnings ignored, duty sleeps
The price was paid in dust.

For though the night had marked her soul,
and bent what once stood free,
the dawn still whispered through the dark:

We are more than a memory.

The Wolf

The violence did not leave me.
Is a wolf without teeth good - or just harmless?

I've proven I can destroy - tearing down to the
ground is easy.
The question - could I stop?

I still have my blade - but now also a sheath.
And still I stand when chaos screams. 
now with a discipline - forged not found.

A wolf guards the pack - it doesn't only devour
every act is a decision - every act it carries weight

A wolf still a monster - just in control of when it kills.


Easter Saturday

The eve of Lenten's weary old mile
of prayerful days and the fasting trial
A candle waits in flickering flame
In our victory we call His name.

My sons laugh - sweet eggs in sight
We break and share - just one tonight
My wife prepares - the lamb is tender
I tell the boys of deaths surrender

The table full - the eggs are laid
Grateful hearts for the love we've made
Love is gathered - our laughter blends
a feast of glory for the ends

Jesus stands - death's undone!

I smile - Easter morning in our hearts begun


Two Tier

Corruption, riots, ambulances in flames.
More terrorist plots - no media blames.

Patriots protest - far right rage.
Thuggery - before feet hit the cobbled stage.
Before a word, before a sign.
The verdict drawn the fault assigned.

Muslims with swords nothing to see
mosques filled with knifes - nobody cries.
An Englishman with banner - jailed and dies.

Two sides shout - false stories told
one painted just - one painted cold.
Bricks still fly - Left lips still lie

We cant coexist! - neath our English sky.

Two tier injustice - the coward police embrace.
In one hand a baton - to the dark there's grace.

Another sentence suspended - another fuckin sex crime
Four years in prison - for a social media line.

Still to come - more tears, more blood, and more loss.

But still we will hoist - our St George Cross!



Lord Have Mercy


I have stood in pain and called it life
As I grew - a pint in hand masked the strife
But in the quiet - now the cheers are gone
I hear the spirit - I thought I'd outrun

Not from the steel I kept close by my side
Not in the noise nor the things that I hide
But in a whisper - that drifts steady and low
I lay it all down - yet more I must know

Still the line is fine - in these days
I'm more than the man - who shouts and prays
I was held - when I became undone
Help me fight - the battles not won.

Here I stand with just a pen in my hand
No grand defence no final plans
Just love and truth and a fragile plea

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me!







Prayer Rope

I sit scared with brass knuckles an knife.
Yet useless they lie - dark spirits seek life.

I rise for battle - grab my prayer rope.
I call on Christ - the source of all hope.

Through spirit and chants - have mercy on me.
Each knot a firm strike - no steel can be.

In the quiet of battle my soul stands whole.
Guarded by Angels as prayer guides my soul.

Unconscious Force

My attention adrift on narrow roads
an unseen wind decides.
In a candle flicker I hear a whisper
of an incoming tide.

Old memories I see - my hand upon
the wheel.
Incense - The Word - The Icons.
In buried echoes I start to feel

Did I choose where my eyes did rest?
The truth my mind eyes see?
Beneath the smoke and fire light
there moves a darker kind of sea.

Father speaks of sacred hearts
a guarding inward door.
A prayer on incense slowly climbs
and restless thoughts - they are no more.