A God made love.
I remember the day vividly, when she asked me to remove the stabilisers from her pretty pink bicycle, with wick basket and handle bar tassels to match. “I’m too big for these now.” She said very certainly.
So self critical and upset each time she fell crying what a silly little girl she was and how she would never do it. I do pray she looses this trait and see how wonderful she is in my eyes. However like she does she learned quick, never gave up, and was speeding around those dips in no time at all.
The first time I let go of the bike and she took off riding solo a strange feeling dawned on me and I realised that one day she would have to ride through this world alone. I’d be there for her of course shouting instructions, praying for her safety but the reality was and will be, she’s the one with her hands on the handle bars choosing which direction to take. It’s tough to accept but I have great faith that eventually she will become the beautiful woman that God wants her to be.
Baby girl, my princess, my angel. Amelia heard many names by me but it was between12 to 18 months after she learned to ride that little pink bicycle, she would’ve been 6 turning 7 my little girl was labelled with the name ‘bumble bee’. She took to the stage as the queen bee in the ugly bug ball, not that any of the young children were ugly themselves, well not the queen bee anyway. I can still see her dancing now and like the name bumble bee the pride I felt in my heart stuck forever.
There are times I don’t appreciate just what an amazing privilege it is to be the father of a beautiful bumble bee however, as beautiful as they are bumble bees on occasions sting! I’m tested through her in so many ways more than I had ever imagined. She doesn’t hesitate to let me know when I fail. Again in many different ways, a look of sadness in her eyes that pounds on my heart. A sharp damming sentence that test my temper. My favourite has to be the slamming of the bedroom door that makes me take a breath and prepare peace talks. I was never good and taking the first steps of peace negotiations but there is something in being blessed with children that softens the pride in the toughest of hearts.
God has and still is changing me in the most amazing ways using my daughter in the great metamorphosis. I also understand our relationship with the creator in much more depth. In my love for her, when I’m testing her, pushing her, punishing her and forgiving her. It really does give me a greater understanding of the things we want and pray for, how they can be so far off what we actually need.
I punished Amelia once and she was very upset to say the least, in all honesty I just wanted to let her carry on what she was doing and take the punishment back its hard seeing her upset but I had to see it through no matter how awful I was feeling. Afterwards to my amazement after the sulking had worn thin of course. she found me she apologized and we hugged so tightly. During that embrace I thought about how God must want to give us everything we ask for but for us to learn and grow is much more important for us. There is always forgiveness when we come to Him with a heart full of love and repentance.
I pray for and thank God for my daughter daily and tell her often how much I love her. The greatest gift and challenge I’ve ever had and I look forward to many more happy and testing years, years always wrapped with love.
Now for a new test, the boy is here….